Loving Imperfection
Impatience… again!
This is starting to be a problem for me. Impatience!
I started to google ways to lean to be patient (again), and I came across an article/blog post by Amy Gross who writes for O Magazine. I figured if Lady O published this article, then there has to be some merit into what this lady has to say. The title of her article is “Patience is a Skill“… Tell me about it! I certainly do not have this skill. My mind races with a million scenarios and what-ifs and solutions all the time… it drives me insane. The more my brain goes, the less I sleep, and the more tired I am!….The more tired I become, the more impatient I get. It’s a vicious cycle that I can’t seem to break. And I am impatient about everything… no joke, everything! I need help…
Ms. Gross goes on to describe 4 ways to learn the skill of patience:
- Just stop. Catch the mind ranting that you shouldn’t be in this situation—because you are. Give up the fight. You’ve lost the battle, but not the war.
- What??? I cant’ do that! Give up??? That’s failure, right?…. If I tell my mind to stop, my mind will find reasons to go on…. it’s stronger than I am. I have no will power… That’s something else I need to work on!
- Settle into the moment. You might feel your body ease down, yielding to gravity (wise move). Your shoulders and belly relax, your jaw too.
- I have no clue what this means. The ONLY time I am able to relax, is after I get home from work, and I step into a hot shower and just stand there….How do I accomplish this while at work? Or on the train? Or the supermarket behind the slowest shopper ever!?! How??
- Go into your body with your mind’s eye and find out how you know you’re impatient. Are you tight, tense, breathing shallowly, clenching, jiggling? Where exactly? Focus on those sensations as closely as you can. Touch them with your mind.
- Sigh… I don’t want to touch anything. I just want to be patient. Like, now!
- See if you can open any tightness, breathe into any clenching. With a really ornery knot, give up trying to fix it and see if you can welcome it, make room for it.
- Maybe. Maybe I can do this step. Not coming up with solutions and scenarios, and just welcoming any situation with open arms and letting go…. Maybe… But, knowing myself, I doubt it!
I’m hoping that the older I get, the better I get at this skill. I will try and do my best to do so for the sake of the people around me. In the meantime, I have found a quote that is a perfect explanation of impatient people:
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
Quote
I think we learn the most from imperfect relationships – things like forgiveness and compassion.
~Andrea Thompson~
Sick, yet again…
This winter my immune system has been tested to the max, and I have to say, every time, my immune system has failed!
I am sick yet again (4th time this year!)…. I honestly think I just never recovered from the first bout of this virus, and have been sick all winter long. Of course this weather hasn’t help either… it’s the first day of spring today, and it’s -11 … (YES, that’s a minus sign in front of the 11!!)
The hubby has been great. He makes sure I stay warm, and brings me hot tea and lets me watch as much trash TV I need to beat this virus….
But I’ve been thinking about when we use to get sick when we were kids and how our parents took care of us. The level of care was completely different. Parents view their sick kids as disgruntled customers and they will do anything to make them happy…..Parents will hover around you, bring you food without asking, keep tab on your medication… and no matter how dumb your request (I asked for hot custard with every meal… dont ask me why) parents will go out of their way to fulfill it….. but significant others are more logical to their approach to sickness, and less concerned about the “patient is always right” mentality…. They will provide the necessities, and walk away…
I guess this commercial says it all:
Great marital advice from A Single Dad
I found this amazing blog on Pinterest. It’s called Single Dad Laughing. This man is a great writer!
He has two posts that I found to be very interesting… Don’t read anything into it…I just feel that he has great marital advice regardless of what your relationship status is:
- Part One: 16 Ways I Blew My Marriage
- Part Two: The OTHER 15 Ways I Blew My Marriage
Week 6 Menu and Grocery Guide by “Modern Parents Messy Kids”
I know I’m way too late with Week 6 of the menu guide, but life just got in the way, and I had no time or energy to makes updates to the blog.
But, here it is, the final week. The grocery list is not as long, and it will be easier on the wallet, and the recipes are very easy and tasty ( I substitute pork with beef wherever):
Produce section:
1 bunch asparagus
2 heads broccoli
Fresh dill sprigs
Green onions
Bag baby carrots
6 medium carrots
1 1/2 pounds potatoes
1 pound fingerling or other small potatoes
2 medium onion
1 red onion
Celery
4 ears fresh corn
Cauliflower
1 bell pepper
Lemon juice
1 large bag spinach
1 cucumber
2 limes
2 peaches or mangos
Cherry tomatoes
2 small tomatoes
Fresh cilantro
1 chili pepper or red bell pepper
2 cloves garlic
Meat section:
12oz. package cooked turkey meatballs
3 pound boneless ham
1 1/2 pounds beef stew meat
2 pounds chicken breast
3/4 pound sweet or hot Italian sausage links
1 pound lean ground beef
2 pounds skinless halibut fillets
Dairy section:
Grated parmesan (eliminate if you’re dairy free)
Shredded cheese (eliminate or try Daiya if you’re dairy free)
Frozen section:
Frozen sweet potato fries
16oz. package frozen Asian stir-fry vegetables, thawed
Aisles:
Two 3oz. packages ramen noodles
Sweet-and sour-sauce
Reduced sodium, fat free chicken broth
Apricot preserves
Horseradish
Hot pepper sauce
1 can (14 1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes
On Hand?:
Olive oil
Salt
Black pepper
White wine vinegar
Dried thyme
Mayonnaise (or vegan mayo)
Flour
Canola oil
Ground mustard
Cumin
Onion powder
Chili powder
Salad dressing (or oil and vinegar)
Butter (or Earth Balance)
1 can (14 1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes
Two 28-oz. cans whole peeled tomatoes
Beef broth
Browning sauce
12 oz. cavatappi or some other short pasta (or gluten free pasta)
Salsa
8 whole flour tortillas (brown rice tortillas if gluten free)
How to develop patience….NOW!
In the last two weeks our lives (hubby and mine) has changed again.
No, I’m not pregnant (for the one reader who may read this and get all excited) … and the hubby and I are well and healthy, and yet this news has created a shift in our future that needs some adjusting. We have been bombarded with information, together and separately, that effect our lives dramatically.
In the long run, we will be more than fine. But in the short run, we need to learn patience to get through it. Specially for an OCD and control freak like myself, patience does NOT come easily… So, I looked it up….and these are some of the steps that I will need to take when I find myself getting impatient:
- Take a deep breath
- Understand you do not have any control over the situation
- Understand you only have control over your reaction to the situation
- Take another deep breath
- Give yourself empathy for your impatience
- Look around you and notice the people, the trees, the clouds in the sky. Take in your surroundings.
- Take another deep breath
- Recognize that you are so much more than the impatience you displayed and commit to being more mindful of that behavior arising in the future.
- Take a deeper breath
They sound easy enough…But nothing has happened yet….I mean, I’ve been breathing and giving myself empathy for my impatience since I started this blog post….but still nothing!…. Maybe in one more minute…
